150 of my Substack readers came over for dinner this year
You could call this experiment the craziest year of my life and I'd agree
I’m the type of person who gets nervous to see a friend they haven’t seen in a month. Sometimes I’ll look in the mirror and rehearse the questions that I’m planning to ask them, or I’ll play the first interaction I think we’ll have in my head forty times as I’m two minutes away from seeing them outside of the restaurant. Should I take my headphones out now so they don’t accidentally keep playing as said friend tries to give me the ‘it’s so good to see you!’ hug?
It would probably make me way more flustered if one of my airpods fell out during the hug even though listening to music for another two minutes is crushing the awkward lead up silence. Fun fact: I actually knocked one of my friend’s headphones out one time and it went down the subway drain.
How can I avoid eye contact for the first introductory fifteen minutes? Especially because I’m breaking out and I should probably just address the pimple on my face immediately when I see them to just…get that out of the way.
I wish I was kidding when I say this is my brain. But the other thing about my brain is that it went through a craving for later twenties chaos and experimentation in 2025. Almost in a way that I was able to turn off the ability to overanalyze and turn on the ability to execute on something that still feels so far from reality. It sounds almost like dissociation, and it could be, but why would someone so socially anxious that overthinks any and every interaction want to start hosting an in-person, non-virtual, and VERY human layer to the thing that is a substack newsletter? Am I a company pushing for a 5 day a week return to office?
It feels like the most extreme form of exposure therapy, but having my substack readers physically come over for dinner was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life and its entirety.
To talk about the way in which this was conducted, I’ll answer your burning questions-
No, I didn’t have all 150 readers in my apartment at one time. Although that now sounds like my dream, even though I fear we’d all be really sweaty.
Instead, we’re all still…decently sweaty still, but I decided to create a supper club for my readers to be able to meet other readers that had similar interests. And then hopefully walk away with a few new friends out of it.
Each dinner had between eighteen and twenty people. None of which had ever crossed paths.
The attendees were my paid readers. I wish they were everyone, but sadly I’m not a millionaire and hosting (as I have learned) is, well, expensive.
Stranger danger wasn’t and isn’t a concern because Substack yields the best people.
The club was therefore founded on a few principles:
I was damn jealous of the supper club concept. I kept seeing them all over the internet, but nobody could ever tell me how to gain access to said supper clubs, and all I saw were these long tables with ornate arrangements decorating endless laughter and community. So therefore, I decided to be cheeky and make my own
(…Members clubs in New York also kind of freak me out a little bit, or maybe I’m just afraid of rejection)
I write about restaurants so my readers are mainly restaurant lovers. I wanted more friends to try restaurants with, and so did my readers.
Making friends in New York, specifically in your twenties, is a tall task.
So, here’s everything I learned from hosting intimate events with readers IRL
1. We all desperately need community
Let’s rip up the concept of protecting your peace in 2026. A read that really stuck with me was Catherine Shannon’s, Your Phone is Why You Don’t Feel Sexy, which basically talks about smartphone addiction and why we’re all so ok with isolation now. I used to look forward to coming home from dinner with friends so I could lay in bed on my phone in my own little world. And I’m not saying I don’t love to scroll. I certainly do. But I also think that the concept of turning down plans and opportunities to meet new friends is very normal now that our phones know us best.
Community building truly is the one thing that cannot be replaced by technology. Even if AI ‘takes all of our jobs’, (real fear) we’ll be left with nothing to turn to but community. But, because we haven’t reached doomsday (yet), the type of community I’m attempting to build is a way to bring the curated, ‘for you’-esque feed to you in real life.
(And no, I’m not idolozing or actually trying to emulate the actual concept of the fyp, I’m just trying to mirror the craving of personal interests that keeps us chained to our phones, but in actual people with those interests instead of reels)
How am I doing this? I have a silly little Notion form that I have all of my attendees fill out prior to the dinner party that asks them to write 5 words that describe them, anything they have strong hatred for (important), and what they’re looking to get out of New York right now. I then curate invites for upcoming dates based on people that I think share similar interests.
I bet 99% of my attendees wish they could cancel their tickets as they’re about to walk into the dinner party. It all sounds like fun until you walk into a room of people you don’t know. But the hope is: everyone heads home feeling like they have a new community here, whether it’s a community to fall back on, or a community to further engage in. A lot of the topics I’ve heard come up are things like: I need to be held accountable for finally starting writing on Substack this year, or, I’ve been meaning to get back into painting. Community helps hold you accountable, if anything at all.
2. Substack has the best people on the internet
There are fair elements of stranger danger when hosting events, but I admittedly haven’t thought about it as much as I should be thinking of it, simply because Substack brings us the best people of the world. Substack readers and writers just get it. Chances are, at least one or two of my readers in attendance also designs tablescapes, or bakes creative pastries, or writes about interiors, or travel, or restaurants in New York that they can’t live without. Substack readers have hobbies, and they’re open to meeting other friends who have that same hobby.
Substack readers also love cats. They also aren’t afraid to engage in discourse, or be vulnerable in group settings, and they certainly are the most respectful, most low maintenance, detail oriented bunch on the internet, (and now around my dinner table). I have had the pleasure of meeting writers of some of my favorite publications through this supper club, like Taylor Dedeaux who writes fierce pieces on fashion, beauty, and color combinations, The Single Sister who writes all about the rollercoaster that is dating in NYC, and Hyperfix'd by Karolina Judd who writes all about pop culture. So if you want to start hosting events, invite people on Substack.
3. Deep conversation is an amazing high
I want you to get in tune with yourself for a moment and reflect on the way you felt recently departing from plans with friends. Did you feel Energized? Relieved? Grinning? Drained?
If there’s one main takeaway from this experiment that is connecting random strangers, it’s that new connections via deep conversation is the highest of highs. People that just get it. Like a…where has this person been my whole life? type conversation. And dear lord, I’m not claiming to be the facilitator of these conversations amongst my guests. I’m sure many walked away maybe not feeling this way at all, but some of the conversations I have had with new friends in this community have been some of my favorites, ever. The type where you see close friends forming infront of your eyes, when three people run over to the table to get a spot next to one another so they can continue covering whatever topic was stirred up with their cocktails. The type where two new friends share a slice of cake because they’re both too full for a single one. The type where the windows are cracked, espresso martinis are poured, and voices become raised over common passions.
These are all conversations I want to keep in my pocket forever.
4. Phones are nowhere to be found
I literally do not have service at my place. I have wifi, but without my wifi, you can barely do anything. I thought about putting my wifi up on the wall at one point, but no one ever asks for it. And then suddenly at the end when the clock strikes midnight and everyone is calling a car home, that’s when everyone realizes that my apartment literally has no service. Maybe people are dying to be on their phones and are too polite to ask for my wifi, but I’ve found that meeting new friends sort of forces you to get off of your phone. How awkward would it be to meet someone and pull up Instagram?
I really don’t think you need to go as far as making a party a ‘no phone’ party. I’ve seen this concept quite a bit recently as figures like Andrew Yang have started hosting ‘screenless’ events. I think it’s cool, but I think if you can create connection, activities, discussion, and excitement you don’t need to go as far as creating a policy around the concept.
5. Feeding twenty people is a fun challenge
Hahaha. Ah. I have learned so much about event planning, catering, and cooking without being an event planner, caterer, or chef. I have an immense respect for those that work in the food service or events industry, as it is a real challenge trying to think of large format dishes to feed more than like…five people? How do people cater weddings of two hundred people?
But I’m telling you, it’s a fun challenge that has made me look at food differently. Every dish I order at a restaurant then crosses my mind as a ‘I wonder if I could make or cater a large format version of this’ thought. It’s just so hard to keep steak warm and fries from not getting soggy! I’ll eventually make a guide around the best restaurants and chefs I’ve worked with for this exact occasion, but even with the help of a caterer I usually find myself in the kitchen the majority of the party getting overheated in a sequin dress and slicing up lasagna.
Wouldn’t trade it for the world, though.
So it’s safe to say that I have a social battery that I never thought I’d have at the ripe age of twenty six, and have met the most incredible restaurant lovers that New York City has to offer. And I know this piece wasn’t my usual, but I was just taking a minute to reflect and feel like it’s so important to be in community next year. I also just want to talk more about hosting, tablescapes, events, etc on here because I’ve learned a tremendous amount about these topics, so consider this my intro!
More in 2026 x
❤️❤️
Super cool!! Few things are more fulfilling than gathering people together especially over a great meal!